Because of you, I will never experience first love again. And it's a good thing, because to this day I wasn't ready for it. I remember how our navels touched with their emptiness. I felt the air in you, and I realised there was no way to be closer to someone. For a moment our skins welded together with sweat. Filling out like two balloons. I still remember your last shy look and your failed effort to smile. That face of yours shattered my self-confidence. I realised that I had no idea how to say goodbye, so I ran out to the kitchen. I didn't know how to be in your presence when I realized I was no longer with you. There is no negotiating with the sadness of loss. I learned that it worked out well for you. I rejoiced but I grieved at the same time and for the same reason: you were fine without me. By a hair's breadth, I would have stayed with you forever.